How to become a better listener
Studies show we spend nearly 50 percent of our communication time listening, and as we take on executive and leadership roles the amount of listening even increases. So what does it take to be a good listener? Three of our Spoken with Authority Leadership Communication and Presentations Skills experts discuss tips and strategies to be better listeners. Below are highlights or view the full 14-minute video:
Jean Costanza Miller, Ph.D.
Listening takes preparation. It is important to think about the purpose of the listening. Sometimes we’re listening to take in information — a focus on note-taking can be important. Sometimes we’re listening to evaluate information and make a decision — listen for evidence to support the evaluation or argument. Sometimes we’re listening to be helpful, lend support, or solve a problem and there we want to be present not only to keep us focused and connected but to show we are listening and engaged.
Lynne Adrine
Good listening takes patience. There is value in waiting until the end before you speak. There is also power in staying silent until you’ve digested what the other person says. The key is to listen until the end. There is so much you can learn by waiting until someone has completed their thought rather than responding too soon. By listening until the end, you will find you are becoming a better listener.
When listening, understand that sometimes there can be cultural differences. If a person is looking away when you’re speaking or may even seem disinterested, it may be that they are culturally more comfortable not making eye contact but are still thinking about and processing the information you give them. It’s part of being a good listener to be aware that not all people process information the same.
Christine Clapp
Listening is an internal process. Be aware that unconscious bias impacts listening. Recognize this especially when we are taking in information to make judgments or a decision. As coaches at Spoken with Authority, we understand there are so many things we can be judged on or can influence our arguments when we speak — from the pitch of our voice to the style of our hair to our Zoom background. As listeners, we must be as ourselves, “On what basis am I making this judgment? How am I responding based on the evidence and content that is being presented and not other characteristics I see or hear?"
Would you like to find out more about our Leadership Communication and Presentation Skills experts and our training programs or 1:1 coaching engagements? Book a consultation with our founder Christine Clapp to discuss how Spoken with Authority can help your firm or organization.